Amelie, Amelie

I can’t sleep, I can’t breathe

Here’s my flesh, here are my bones

Cast your spell, I am yours.

I’m just spit, I’m just dirt

Stains in your fingernails

Dug a hole just beneath

With anything that you need

Stay with me,

We’ll be haunted.

We can leave town,

We’ll be haunted.

Amelie, Amelie

I slipped into the strangest dream

Here’s my heart, heres my soul

Cast your net, I am yours, but

I can hardly see what’s rotting in front of me

I can hardly see what’s dying inside of me

I wear this skin, but it’s not me

I can’t feel anything

Stay with me,

We’ll be haunted.

You can keep me down,

We’ll be haunted.

There’s ghosts charging through the streets while we just feign diplomacy

My hands are bound behind my back, hysteria’s whispering all I lack.

And I hate all you loved in me, why can’t we fuck complacently?

It’s how they got into our heads,

How they tore our velcro hearts.

Stay with me,

We’ll be haunted.

We (we can leave this town, leave it all behind)

We can leave town

We’ll be haunted.

Kill myself,

I could kill myself.

Blinded by the damage done

blinded by the damage done-

To you

I count to ten then suddenly you were gone,

Is there a sickness inside my head?

I’m not the same, I’m not as brave as I was before.

I see your ghost sneaking past my door

Is there a sickness inside my heart?

I’m not the same, I’m not as brave as I was before

Let me go,

I’m not your puppet, my love.

I’m not your alarm bell, your alarm bell

Ringing though the night.

Let me go

I can never wake you up.

I’m not your alarm bell, your alarm bell

Ringing though the night.

I count to ten then suddenly you were gone,

Is there a sickness inside my head?

I am not the same, I’m not as brave as I was before.

I keep your letters hiding under my bed

Folded your sweater like you had never left

There’s nothing else that calms my heart more than hearing about your day

Let me go,

I’m not your puppet, my love.

I’m not your alarm bell, your alarm bell

Ringing though the night.

Let me go

I can never wake you up.

I’m not your alarm bell, your alarm bell

Ringing though the night.

They slipped in as the door shut behind you, dancing towards as fast as they can

There’s vermin inside, dancing towards as fast as they can

Can’t you see them in our room?

Is there something that they need

Is it safe out?

I can’t see

Why is this happening to me?

How’d we get here? I can’t breath

Oh Please god why,

Oh please oh please oh not me

Lalalalalala

Can’t you see them in our room?

Is there something that they need?

Is it safe out?

I can’t see

Why is this happening to me?

How’d we get here? I can’t breathe

Lick the paint off every wall

I’m not me now, never was

This never happened, never happened

On tip of my tongue I thought I never had your control

No, that’s not me

No, that’s not me

No, that’s not me

I kiss your cheek then say good morning

Lock the door behind me

Lay out on the gravel

Blessed now by the waters

Pouring through the streets

The space between you and me.

In dawn’s mist, birds are flying eastbound

Intercepting time’s hounds,

Hungry for the secrets hidden in your chest.

The scarring just beneath. They’re picking rotting skin/tearing past the skin.

The space between you and me.

Run away with me, I can live with a confident sutured up smile.

We can keep it down, I can live with a confident sutured up smile.

I can fix this faulty wiring. I can trick my broken brain

that I’m not a burden to everyone I love.

I can fake anything

I kiss your cheek then say good night

And pray the ceiling crumbles down

Pinned under the falling concrete

I can be anything you need

Under this waning moon, out from her fetal tomb

Beneath a plastic encased box,

I watched the nurses pass,

A wheezing bulbous mass of bloodied bubblegum.

You’ll ask “Does she have my eyes? The curly hair I had dreamed?”

Lord, let her be believed.

Under this sterile light, the nurse waltzed into sight

Blood coats my lower lip

Blow a bubble till the bubble splits.

The band is setting forth

Upon the new Queen’s court

We’re letting time kill itself unmercifully

But still you’ll ask, “Does she have my eyes? The curly hair I had dreamed?”

Lord, let her be believed.

If love’s eternal grace offers shelter for the meek,

then why should it be I know you,

but you not me?

Gaze into my eyes, as I orchestrate Ada’s masquerade, oh darling, please be brave.

Does she have my eyes? The curly I had dreamed?

Lord, please…

Pressed up against the wall by room 231, footpaths of blood extending out of sight, like a

trail of rose pedals into the darkness.

You can never catch me in that hole,

If you say so, I won’t take that fall

To reclaim a sense of normalcy

They wrote the novels and they’re selling the rights

You can never catch me in that hole

I was never really here at all

If you call, I won’t say anything

They wrote the novels and they’re selling the rights

Take a quick glance, pretend there’s nothing

Mary, your skull- did you hear something?

You’ve got the right words, reduced to mumbling

Apathy’s got its hands over your mouth.

Mary fell head first into that hole

She was never really there at all

To reclaim a sense of decency

Published a novel, now they’re selling the rights

And I found God projected in every single word

Reflecting on all these missed connections

Of what could have been, what should have been then.

Take a quick glance, pretend there’s nothing

Mary, your skull- did you hear something?

You’ve got the right words, reduced to mumbling

Apathy’s got its hands over your mouth.

Take a quick glance, pretend there’s nothing

Mary, your skull- DID YOU HEAR SOMETHING?

You’ve got the passcodes, reduced to mumbling

Apathy’s got its hands over your mouth.

My mouth hides the locusts, lips parted wide enough to hear the whimpers of a thousand

lies calling out from the depths buried below, screaming that’s not me, set me free.

Oh my Darling Marie, you’re waving in every scene.

With roses and cheap champagne, children out on the streets.

I think I’ll just stay inside.

Somewhere along the line, I tripped and fell straight through

a timeline that’s tragically lacking you.

Can’t we write another script?

I’ll direct a technicolor film

A story in which I won’t lose you

for now

Hang all your martyrs

Our tragic heroes

They’ll give you everything but their cause

And we will wonder what ever happened to them to be so goddamned flawed?

Is this the role that you cast yourself leading in?

The pitied victim with too much heart.

Just so they’ll wonder what the fuck happened to you?

Don’t act so damn cruel

When I call on you

To read the lines

I’ve provided you

Just play the part

with heart, please.

The ink has barely dried,

Lie lie lie to me.

There’s a knock at my door that starts every night- it won’t let me go

I have spoke every spell, housed the devil in my own breast- it won’t let me go

Medicine, medicine

Give me strength to slip in

Broken locks, cum stained walls

Your foot steps down the hall

Let me in

inside our empty home, our empty home

I can’t get in our empty home

It won’t let go, it won’t let go

I stripped down every wall,

ripped every fucking floor board loose- it won’t let me go.

I’ve been good I’ve been good

Can’t you see, I can change

I’ll get down on my knees

I can beg if you please

Let me in

inside our empty home, our empty home

I can’t get in our empty home

It won’t let go, it won’t let go

Living in an empty home, our empty home

I can’t get in our empty home

It won’t let go, it won’t let go

—

/a magical box

What’s in your head? Is it nothing?

I’m pulling on the threads of your sweater

Let me in, let me in-

our empty home, I’m the arsonist lighting up the walls

Burning everything I love locked inside

Let me in.

You tell me count to ten and not to open my eyes till when I was done.

You barely leave a trace, a faded footstep, the paper moon in the night.

Where have you gone?

I cannot reach you

I’m freaking out

Is this forever?

Did I count wrong?

Can I start over?

In the brush

is this forever?

I say my prayers each night, asking Jesus please can you fix this lack inside of me.

I haven’t been the same,

Living with this weight

Counting backwards just to see-

where you have gone

I still can feel you

I’m freaking out

Is this forever?

Did I count wrong?

Can I start over?

Am I enough?

is this forever?

Then, you tell me count to ten.

You heard his voice again as the train takes you from work

In an old voicemail, fades into the engine’s hum

Marci says the kids fell asleep waiting for you

Playing hide and seek with the children down the street

You show her to the door

Say drive safe, keep the change

As you rush to your room,

See him waiting for you

“Hold me close,” you whisper, turning out the light

It’s unreasonable, but who’s to say what’s right

It makes you happier, like you used to feel back then

The smell of cheap cologne,

All the things you never said—

Did you have good day?

Did you sleep well last night?

Everything is okay,

I’ve been doing just fine

And I’m so tired from work

Can we lay here in bed?

Take this noise from my head

Can’t we stay here instead?

Since the moment you left

Everyday is a curse

We just barely scrape by-

But everything is just fine

Every promise we made

They all turned into lies

IT’S THE SILENCE I HATE

Everything is just fine

“Hold me close,” you whisper, turning out the light

It’s unreasonable, but who’s to say what’s right

You feel safe as you sway from side to side

Can it be so wrong,

If it gets you through the night-

nothing ever dies

You saw his ghost again

Sneaking past your door

Nothing ever dies

I kiss your cheek then say good night

And pray the ceiling crumbles down

Pinned under the falling concrete

I can be anything you need

How do you speak when your tongue’s on fire?

Tiring, tiring to see this play before me.

I’m wide awake, but my eyes are so tired.

How do you speak when your tongue’s on fire?

Tiring, tiring to see…

All hail dissent. The Queen is dead.

Unveil the majesty,

Mascara always bleeds,

As the lights dim down, your bounds are thrown about down the hall.

Unveil the majesty,

Mascara always bleeds..

As the lights dim down.

As the lights shut off on our souls, feening on your bones.

I’m wide awake, but my eyes are so tired.

How do you speak when your tongue’s on fire?

Tiring, tiring to see this play before me.

I’m wide awake, but my eyes are so tired.

How do you speak when your tongue’s on fire?

Tiring, tiring to see this play before me.

All hail dissent. The Queen is dead.

No light within this city till it’s burning to the ground.

No love within this city till it’s burning to the ground.

All hail dissent. The Queen is dead.

If you were to wake, I never said I’d be awaiting your grand arrival.

If you were to wake, I never said I’d be awaiting your grand arrival.

As the ocean tides swallowed up my face,

All I was you covered up in lace,

Dear God, how you feel so fake,

A porcelain doll barely keeping sane.

If you were to wake, I never said I’d be awaiting your grand arrival.

If you were to wake, I never said.

I never said.

I never said.

Watch the ocean shore,

Like you did before.

It smothered all you love.

Are you feigning life?

My last resort is growing thin,

But so are you.

So are you.

Oh, I’m just a speck. Sadomasochists, cashing in my check.

Walk through broken glass.

You’re never coming back.

Smother all you love,

Keep all that you hate trapped deep down.

Are you feigning life? My last resort is growing thin, but so are you. So are you. (I’ve got the black lung baby. Goddamnit).

Oh, I’m just a speck. Sadomasochist, cashing in my check.

I’m just feigning life. I’m just killing time. I’ve got the black lung baby. When you speak I choke. When the words are said. Cemented in lead. It’s too much urgency. Too much urgency.

If you were to wake, I never said I’d be awaiting your grand arrival.

If you were to wake, I never said I’d be awaiting your fucking grand arrival.

As the ocean tides swallowed up my face,

All I was you covered up in lace,

Dear God, how you feel so fake,

A porcelain doll barely keeping sane.

If you were to wake, I never said I’d be awaiting your grand arrival.

If you were to wake, I never said.

I never said.

I never said.

On the hills, where you swore

We’d be heroes for the day

You’re still dead in your grave

In the sky there were planes

As the bullets ricocheted

We were heroes for the day

You’re still dead in your…

In the flames, we were born

In the sky there were planes

As the bullets ricocheted

We were heroes for the day

In the sky there were flames

As the bullets ricocheted

We were heroes for the day

You’re still dead in your…

In the flames we just burn,

In the ashes we were saved.

In the flames, we were born.

On the hills, where you swore,

We’d be heroes for the day.

You’re still dead in your grave.

In the sky there were flames,

As the bullets ricocheted,

You’re still dead in your grave,

You were heroes for the…

In the flames we just burn,

In the ashes we were saved.

In the sky there were flames,

In the sky there were flames,

In the sky there were flames,

In the flames, we just burned.

My ship had capsized by the Dead Sea.

Of all the fickle things you said to me, I never knew.

Farewell my friends, I’m fleeing Paris for fairer weathers. I don’t think we will meet again, my hearts grown trees.

Farewell my love, I’m fleeing Paris for fairer weathers. I don’t think we will meet again, my hearts grown trees.

A crowd is rushing in to see Marie’s art.

My ship had capsized by the Dead Sea.

I tried to kill away all the things I try to hate.

Farewell my friends, I’m fleeing Paris for fairer weathers. I don’t think we will meet again, my hearts grown trees.

Farewell my love, I’m fleeing Paris for fairer weathers. I don’t think we will meet again.

I was the one to find.

Under the ocean’s tide,

Life.

Farewell my love, I’m fleeing Paris for fairer weathers. I knew no better. I don’t think we will meet again.

I’m a masochist, babe.

Farewell my friends, I’m fleeing Paris for fairer weathers. I don’t think we will meet again, I don’t think we will meet again, my head’s no longer in the sand. Good bye.

I threw myself into fire, screaming this skin is my cowardice,
Peel it off; let the insides burn

They pulled my script out from the ashes singing this book is my cowardice.
Brought it back, I defied death

The bleeding is ceding the need now for you
Oh metaphor, you dying whore

Have the guts to swim in disgrace
Shoot confetti and bask in the shame
They’re just laughing and dancing in place
To keep pace, show your face

Have the guts to swim in your disgrace
And the dark that you choose not to brave
There’s a place where the broken escape
Show your face, now

I don’t think I can tell living from dead
I don’t think I can ever come back home again

Have the guts to swim in disgrace,
And the darkness you choose not to brave,
There’s a place where the broken escape
Show your face…

Have the guts to swim in disgrace,
They’re just laughing and dancing in place,
Mangled feet tap dance on our graves
Show your face now

I don’t think I can (see how much I’ve bled)
I don’t think I can (face my cowardice)
I don’t think I can (tell living from dead)
I don’t think I can (come back home again)

Show Your Face, Motherfucker

1.
I’ve got black smoke screens, babe
In the back of my limousine
In the back of an alley way, choking on the disease.
I don’t know if anything’s really true,
I am dry socket, I am singing

La, La, La, La, La

2.
How do you sleep at night?
With the covers drawn,
Tuck your children in, how do you sleep at night?
With those bloody sheets,
How do you sleep at, how do you sleep at night?
When there’s nothing left,
How do you sleep at night, How do you sleep at night?

No, I never let go,
Of your grip around my throat.
 

Home

I don’t know where it’s bleeding
Out of view, where it’s dressed in red, where it’s dressed in red

On the floor, I am lying
The Devils spit trickles down my spine
It feels divine.

Healing Eye, heal me
Spread these ashes, they’re no longer mine.
Healing eye, mend me
This tattered spirit is just a figment, a void to pacify

Healing Eye, heal me
Spread these ashes, they’re no longer mine.
Mending Eye, fix me
This tattered spirit is just a figment, a void to pacify

Defilement, pin me down to the ground, isn’t that where you want me?
Just like before,
Just like the other times I looked inside and found your ghosts

Dancing to a carnal rhythm
Cardboard cutout’s warped and faded hue
Love, I know you tried to save me.

I saw you die again in my sleep,
It was the same mistake, as it seems,
Construct the boundaries in my head,
I saw you die again, like the rest.

Oh lee, Oh lay,
You sneezed a Pearl,
I wrote a song,
In memory of…

I saw you die again in my sleep,
It was the same mistake, as it seems,
Construct the boundaries in my head,
I saw you die again, like the rest.

Oh lee, Oh lay,
You sneezed a Pearl,
I wrote a song,
In memory of…

Oh lee, Oh lay,
Tear off my skin,
I’m learning how to love again

I saw you die again in my sleep,
It was the same mistake, as it seems,
Construct the boundaries in my head,
I saw you die again, like the rest.

I’ve lost my faith in everything/I’ve found displaced divinity (within a burlap sack)

Oh lee, Oh lay, you sneeze a pearl.
I write a song in memory of.
Oh lee, Oh lay, tear off my flesh,
I’m learning how to live again.
Lost in a sea of slighted prayers.
To dance on flames, if you dare,
Perform the orchestral balance act.
I set you free.

I take you Home.

As you wept, the ghosts hollowed me out
Made a home where the bones used to lay
Can’t you see your speaking to my wounds?
Where my face used to be, I don’t know.

Perfect fifths steeped in novocaine
Our lips swallow the pills for this pain
In the zeal of feigned pulses aglow
With our hologrammed placeboes

Sleep to drown in an orchestral sea-
Fake your pulse to the slightest degree.
All the wars that we tirelessly waged
In the end, they all sound just the same.

I can roam, I can dream, fall in love, go to sleep,
Fall in love, let it bleed,
Go to sleep.

Go to sleep.

1.
Watch your step as the bombs echo defilement
We were cast as the broken ones
Illusion’s kissing your neck, fading pulse, is this how we will dance our tired bones into the pit of Hell?

Trail of roses, bleeding shrapnel, scent of fire, at the bottom,
Trail of roses, bleeding shrapnel, past’s submission, I’m on fire
Splintered angels, whispered cravings, scent of fire, at the bottom
Trail of roses, bleeding shrapnel, at the bottom, I’m on fire

Hey Marie, baby, give up the gun.
Let’s hideout darling, let’s have some fun.
We’re bleeding out from reopened wounds
Doomed to die again.

2.
Fling your lovers into the sun (don’t wake up)
My heart’s shedding its leathered guard
The nightmare’s kissing your neck, fading pulse, IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT!? To burn alone,” she said.
I can tell, I can tell, I can tell.

Hey Marie, baby, give up the gun.
Let’s hideout darling, let’s have some fun.
We’re bleeding out from reopened wounds
Doomed to die again.

Doomed die again
Doomed to die and burn in Hell

3.
My hearts shedding its leathered guard to give in…

Hey Marie, baby, give up the gun.
Let’s hideout darling, let’s have some fun.
We’re bleeding out from reopened wounds
Doomed to die again.

Hey Marie, baby, give up the gun
Let’s hideout darling, let’s have some fun.

Jesus Christ has a loaded gun to your fucking head

Doomed to die again.
On your knees again.

Doomed to die and burn in Hell.

Traced your scars through the ashen debris
I was yours till the end, Ma Chérie

I love you, & you should know
That I’ll bury this book under snow
and someday you’ll unearth what I wrote

That last time I gave up…

Fashioned one baited song for the end,
Although all of this is just pretend.

I love you, & you should know
That I’ll bury this book under snow
And one day you’ll unearth what I wrote

Just how deep can you dig?

—

Have the guts to swim in disgrace, jesters laughing and dancing in place
If my demons created my sins, then this hemorrhaging is within

But why’s this script in reverse?
Jesters laughing and dancing in place
History, heed my pleas to break free
Dear God, I’m going fucking insane

Please don’t listen now these words are for sale
Mark up this failure before the ink dries up
I promise, lover, nothing’s really real
Are you fading or are you pulling back?

Your shadow is dancing while you lie still, my precious faith in a dying metaphor.

You can never make me give up the gun.
You can never make me give up the gun.
You can never make me give up the gun.
You can never make me give up the gun.